Burpday Or Shall I Call It Birthdays

            Every now and then we always had special occasions celebrated among family and friends. A few years back, I often find my birthdays quite ordinary because I usually spent it at home with my mom and relatives. But this time around I happen to celebrate it with another family I had found in the new school where I am working.

            I could say, it was a festive occasion as I spent two days celebrating it this week. My birthday falls on every 26th day of the month of February. Although we had spend the 25th as the Pre-Birthday Celebration as we don't have work because it was a special holiday in the Philippines.  A very  fortunate time for some friends to take a plunge in the sea. We visited the floating cottages of Panabo City in Davao del Norte. A boat took us there. It was just a few minutes ride and there we are. Lo! It was full of fun, sharing laughter and jokes from fellow teachers and friends. It was my first time to come to the place and I was impressed with the clear and clean waters. The people in the area had really preserved the seas. The sea breeze was in harmony with us. The weather was fine and everybody had enjoyed the scenery and atmosphere. I can highly recommend the place. Its cheaper than any places I've been with.
     
            Before three in the afternoon we already left the place and went to our co-teachers house where we had cooked our food beforehand. I had the pleasure to nap for about 30 minutes after I had taken the bath in removing the saltiness from my body. I felt so relaxed and refreshed. While some friends took their baths and watch TV and doing pedicure.

            In this birthday, how I wish its always like Burpday not because we eat a lot of food but the reason is I spent it with harmony. Avoiding stress and as laughter is the best medicine that cures loneliness in the life of a woman who has always been single for many years now. I hope that things will just be like this, nothing too strenuous in life and just go along with whatever God is giving. I could say I love my life now. Being too independent and maybe a little mature in life, makes me so lucky to finally find what i am looking for in life. I thank God for He has given me so much I could ask for. This birthday has given me the opportunity to share what I have.

            Thank God for another year although I stop counting the age what matters most is that I still feel young at my age.

What Matters Most in Love?

What do you look for in finding love? Is it about the physical aspect of how a man looks, his grooming, height and the chemistry you think you have with each other? Or is it on his wealth and what he can give to satisfy your wants and provide your needs? All these basis may push people far away from what they are looking for.

Love as the dictionary defines it is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. This is the tender loving care you seek and want to be shared with. If this is the idea of your search for love then both women and men must be wary of it.

How do you gauge your partner to be? As we search far and wide looking for the real man or woman for us we often tend to be too choosy and sometimes because of that we look for some experts to help us in our search. Some people pay for the benefit it could give them. Some Feng Shui experts became in demand for those who may have always been hurt in love and those who just want to have a good future in their relationships. Even renowned celebrities  asks  for their help but seldom can you see relationships work out if couples don't work it out themselves.

Who do you believe the most? Is it your mind, who tells you what to do and follow the advice of the Feng Shui expert? Believing that every word  they say is for good. Or is it the heart that you felt for that person, which you can rely most rather than other people who aims to protect you from unwanted heartaches in the future. Such dilemma can only be judged by a person who really knows what they got into. Real love and relationship can only be felt if each individual shows sincerity and not because what other can offer for them. Love is infinite it can be felt but never can it be controlled. So, if we want love we must work out for it and not rely on what others think we need to do to make things work out for the best.

The Ber Months

I suddenly realized that it is once again a ber month ...November. I remember quite clearly what I did 2 years ago. Although I was out of job I was not penniless. I had a small business way back then. but this didn't console my feelings of loneliness. 

The ber months always makes me somber and thoughtful. I hate the feeling though yet how can  I just disregard it. What a pity for me!! I know somehow I may not be the only one feeling like this when December is fast approaching.

December to me is always a snowy Christmas, I feel the coldness of the air, the weather which was always rainy, my eyes wet from reminiscing  of a love that has been forgotten as letters lay under my bed soaked with tears and marked by time. I wish I could forget all unhappiness in life. Nevertheless, those were happy memoirs of the past that are still treasured.

Now, I hope this December should be something new. How I wish that it will be a very fruitful Christmas!! I hope I shall never be alone again during these holidays. And that I could say my ber months has been very good so its a time to be cheerful as I will be facing a good year ahead.

All I want for X'mas

Seven days to go before Christmas day. How I wish Santa Claus would know my heart's desire. Although I made some of my lists here. It must be something sweet , big and soft! I just hope he can find something similar and send it to my house on Christmas eve.

Ho! Ho! Ho! I dreamt I heard him in my sleep floating in the stark blue sky, so happy and gay. It was a lovely night, carolers were there at my house making my sleep so merry as I keep on dreaming. Alas!! I heard him enter my house through the chimney walls so heavy with lots of things in his backpack and with a loud thud he slipped through it. That was Santa from my fairy world of books.

How I wish I'm still a child to live and dream of fairy tales especially when Christmas time arrives. Its nice to be a child where we often dream of happiness and no worries around us. Ho! Ho! Ho! there goes Santa Claus, I just hope its always Christmas time!! Tis is all I want......

If this is a painting

Whenever I see violets and purple colors it always reminds me of  Bora . A name that is so lovely as her looks,  nice and meek as her character.  Yoo Bora Kim...that was her name...a foreign student who had been my tutee six years ago.There was so much fun and vivid memories I could remember as we bond. She was just 4 years younger than I am.

If this is a painting, I will select all colors of violets and purple to paint you. Life indeed has been good to us because I have met you and its a memory I can't forget. Even without pictures, to refer to the scenes are always imprinted in my mind.

Bora, if you only you can read this... I have never forgotten you...

PS: Pls pass this to YOO Bora Kim if you know her, she lives in Seoul, Korea.





Perhaps now, she must have been married and have kids. 

A sense of direction

Its been a long time since I've written something on this site...though some people would label me as a seasoned writer... and I guess I am.

Right now, I'm inspired something about the life I'm leading to. Starting from where I have been and where I will be going. There are some things that are very important for me at the moment. For one, my paper in which I haven't started yet and whenever I write something it leads me to jump to another topic. Although I think it leads me to a direction. A direction that is still vague at this point.

Second, I come to realize that I love what I am doing right now because it gives me a sense of direction. Wherever this career will lead me to, I know I can always find time for myself no matter how stressful and tight the schedules are you'll still find time to reflect and weigh down how you have dealt problems.

Lastly, I haven't felt so alone and lonely eventhough I have been too far away from home. Mom always call in which she has always been supportive and understanding. The family keeps me strong and with this I found inner peace wherein I can say I have matured a bit.

why?

i've been asking about that myself...
u seem not to connect with me...
i tell u my troubles but u just remain silent...
u don't share what is happening to u...
why?

why not tell me... i would have understood...
why make me a she-devil and harbor all evil thoughts...
why be so unfair...
why reject me... when i need your love
why make me suffer

why do i still love you,
despite the feeling of rejection?

sorry if i still love u like this
insane as i am, i still care.